I’m Not Your Coach. I’m the Friend Who Gets It.
Her Next 30 | RECLAIM Series: C is for Community A community built for midlife women with late-diagnosed ADHD who are ready to reclaim their lives.
I am not a coach.
I want to be clear about that. Not because coaching isn’t valuable, but because I have real respect for what great coaches do.
They’ve done the work. They hold real credentials. They change lives in ways I’m not trained to.
That’s exactly why I’m bringing them in.
What I am is something different.
I’m a peer. A community builder. A woman in her 50s who found out she has ADHD embarrassingly recently.
I’m rebuilding my own life AND this community in real time. In public. So you don’t have to do it alone.
The coaching I’ll leave to the experts.
The room? That’s ours to build.
Bella & Me (Heather Bee)
Here’s what I’ve learned about ADHD women and community.
We need it more than almost anyone. And we’ve been failed by it more than almost anyone.
The communities that exist weren’t built for our brains — ever since preschool.
The accountability structures assume you can just be consistent. The group chats require you to remember to check them. The coaching programs cost thousands of dollars and were designed for neurotypical women who are already organized enough to implement what they’re learning.
And then there’s the all-or-nothing thing.
You know the one.
You go hard for two weeks. Gym every day, tracking everything, showing up everywhere. And then your brain just... stops.
Three weeks go by. You feel like you’ve failed. You quietly leave the chat.
That’s not failure. That’s an ADHD nervous system doing exactly what ADHD nervous systems do.
The community we need isn’t built on streaks and consistency scorecards and pressure to perform. It’s built on showing up when you can, being held by people who understand when you can’t, and having zero judgment either way.
I’ve been doing a 30-day challenge lately — collecting dots, not streaks. Two goals per day: move my body and close my kitchen by 8pm. Some days I get the dots. Some days my brain is completely fried and I don’t do a single thing I planned.
The old version of this would feel like failure.
The new version just means I pick up the dots again on Monday.
That’s the culture I’m building here.
What Her Next 30 Community actually looks like.
I’m building this in public. Which means you get to watch it happen, give me input, and help shape what it becomes.
That’s not a marketing angle. That’s genuinely how I want to do this.
Here’s what I know so far:
Peer-led, not coach-led. I’ll be in the trenches with you, not above you. That’s the whole point.
An advisory panel of experts. Coaches, therapists, researchers, and specialists who understand the neurodivergent midlife experience, coming into our space to offer real support when the week has been rough.
You help me choose who’s in the room. I’ll be interviewing potential advisors on the podcast. You’ll meet them, tell me what you think, and help me decide who belongs here. This is your community. You should have a say.
A Founding Circle is coming. A paid membership with details still being finalized, but the women who subscribe to this free Substack now and follow this build will have access first. Being here early matters.
Who else I’m looking for.
If you’re a coach, therapist, or specialist who works with neurodivergent women in midlife, FOLLOW along and subscribe.
This advisory panel is being built thoughtfully and publicly. If your work aligns with what we’re doing here, there may be a conversation worth having.
If you’re a podcaster, creator, or writer with an audience of women like us, let’s TALK.
I’m looking for people who want to build something real. Not just cross-promote.
DMs are open. I’m a real person who reads them.
How to be part of this.
Subscribe to this Substack. That’s it. That’s the whole ask right now.
The Founding Circle opens to subscribers first. The women in this Substack are the ones who get early access, founding pricing, and a say in how this room gets built. That matters.
Subscribe while it’s on your mind. I can’t remind you to come back. We both know that’s not how our brains work.
I need you here. Not as a number. As a person.
This community doesn’t work without you in it.
About the RECLAIM Framework
RECLAIM is the backbone of Her Next 30, a community built specifically for midlife women with late-diagnosed ADHD who are done shrinking and ready to reclaim their lives. Seven things most of us quietly gave away during the years we were busy performing neurotypicality. Seven things we get to take back.
R — Recenter · E — Energy · C — Community · L — Let Go · A — Author Your Next Chapter · I — Invest · M — Make Something
We go deep on one letter at a time. You’re in the right place.
I love you. I’m here. I’m going through it with you.
— Heather
Her Next 30 is a weekly essay and growing community for late-diagnosed and newly self-aware women with ADHD navigating midlife. If your brain works differently and you’re finally ready to design a life built around that truth — you’re exactly who this is for.
P.S. If you’re a coach, therapist, or specialist who works with neurodivergent women in midlife — I see you too. The advisory panel is being built thoughtfully and publicly. If your work aligns with what we’re doing here, there may be a conversation worth having. DMs are open.